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The Awkward Probinsyana

 


We all wake up daily and promise to be better versions of ourselves. Often, we fail our own expectations and then become cruel to ourselves. I have been in that situation so many times that I lost count. Still, life has its own way of surprising us every day.


In a few weeks, I will be starting a new season in my life and I can't wait to share all the details with you. I just wanted to savor this triumph for a while, without anyone lurking in the background. I am at a point in my life where I just wanted to enjoy things quietly for a while before I share it with the world.


Please continue to pray with me as I work my way towards a new chapter of my life and when I'm ready, I will happily share all the details with you.


Xo,

Ria

June 23, 2023 No comments

 


Social Media has been feasting on celebrity break-ups left and right. As a swiftie, I also mourned the news about Joe Alwyn and my girl Taylor. But the break-up that strikes me the most is of Moira Dela Torre and Jason Hernandez.


I am not that big of a fan of Moira but I have listened to a couple of her songs. I was of those who reacted positively to their engagement announcement through a music video. I was one of those who shed happy tears in their wedding SDE. So when the news blew up that they were separating, I was taken by surprise. How come this happy Christian couple decided to separate ways? What exactly happened? 


I thought it was long over, that news was so 2022 when the ex-husband decided to post teasers of a random girl, adding fuel to a fire that has been so long over. People thought that he was soft-launching a new flame which turns out to be a teaser to a new song, a new song implying that he was still not over Moira. I was one of those who somehow didn't like how it seems like he is commercializing the break-up but then I realized, Moira wrote songs too about it too. But, it somehow feels so disrespectful to add snippets of the proposal and the wedding on the music video when the other person is trying her best to heal. To make it even worst, people from their life started posting online apparently to break the silence.


I've seen all the posts and started wondering how can anybody justify cheating, especially in marriage? How can people blatantly say that the only mistake of the other party is to listen to the call of the flesh like he just lied about spending Saturday night with the boys? And not just with this current issue, we all have witnessed a lot of celebrity cheating issues, spending time with a friend out of town, and eventually admitting to being a couple. I don't get it. If you want out of the relationship, then leave. 


Another thing that concerns me is forgiveness. "You're both Christians, why don't you just forgive each other, work it out, and move on" is what I always hear from people who wanted to help couples work it out. It pisses me off somehow because how do you just repair a trust that has been broken? And also, trauma after trauma, how does a person heal?


I am deeply sorry for this couple -- it's hard to heal and I know that, what's harder is they have to deal with it with everyone watching. I just pray that in time, they will both find peace in whatever path they will choose to take in life. Right now, I just wish that people around them will just shut up.



XO,

Ria

May 30, 2023 No comments



I had a strange dream last night.


I was in the same high school I attended, sitting in the same spot. Sitting beside the same people. Hanging around on the same stairs as my best friend and I used to before classes started. The only difference is that I know that it happened in the present day. I am waiting for the same documents that I am waiting for now. And one of my friends from college was with me in class.


But the same damn person was sitting right across from me. The teacher decided to shuffle the seating arrangements, with me secretly hoping that person gets transferred to the empty seat beside me. Like the old times, like we used to. I don't know why until now I still wish for that to happen. Maybe because it reminded me of the simpler times. It reminded me of how easy life was before becoming an adult. Maybe because I was so happy then, and I work desperately hard to find happiness now.


Going back to my dream, I didn't see what happened next. Whether he got transferred to the seat next to me or I got the documents on time. My dream ended abruptly and I was thinking about it the moment I woke up. All I know is that every time I am in bad shape and stuck in another depression rut, I dream about these little moments in my core memory. Moments that kept me going and reminded me that I was once this happy little person. Reminding me that it wasn't always this bad. 


Until I see you in my dreams again, but this time with a happier version of myself. 🩷
May 08, 2023 No comments

 


Hello, luvs! I am back with another escape diary. 😀 I recently went on a quick beach trip with none other than my high school bestie!!! Yayy! We have been wanting to go on a beach trip since we were in high school but we couldn't afford it back then now that we both have jobs, maybe it's time to make this trip a reality!! Yey! 😀

I was in the UK when we started planning for this trip. Lol. I am not keen on using the word "plan" lol because this is more like a spontaneous trip for both of us. Although we talk about it a lot, it's not really like we planned anything about this trip except the flight dates hahaha. 😂😂😂

So we have decided to book our tickets first. We chose February 8-10, 2 nights in Bora. This is also the same schedule as her quarterly vacation. And from there, we had nothing else planned. 😂😂😂

Mhai booked our hotel tickets on January 29th (just a few days before our actual flight! hahaha). Booked 2 nights at Crowne Regency Hotel and we both don't recommend it, staff was all really great people but the hotel itself is just blah. Anyway moving on.

We realized 2 days before our flight that we still haven't planned our transfers from the airport - the jetty port - bora. Well, no problem cause we had TikTok to the rescue and to be honest it was all so easy. 

We don't even have any activities planned but no worries, there were a lot of people offering activities in the island. You just have to use your haggling skills because some of them will charge you more. We ended up joining an island tour which is kind of disappointing because our boat keeps on messing up and we weren't able to see Puka Beach.

But what's important is this:

We gotta make sure that we have our Crystal Kayak entry by the end of our Bora trip! Hehe




Overall, it was still a very fun beach trip since I got to spend time with my best friend since fourth grade! Life has thrown us so many struggles in between and I am just glad to have seen how much we have both matured (in thinking at least) over the years.

Love you to bits and till our next bestie travel!! 💜

XO,
Riri

February 19, 2023 No comments

 


Hello beautiful people!

Yay! Finally found the time to edit videos from my recent travel to the UK. Let me take you with me to our first stop: London! 🇬🇧

This is day one of our 3-day stay in London. I still have lots of videos to edit but hopefully, I can find the time to finish everything.

Special thanks to my Tita Vic & Tito Vic for this trip of a lifetime. To Macen and Josh for touring ate around London. -- And to all the Titas and Titos of UK who ensured I was covered for the trip. I have nothing but gratitude for all of you. 💕 Hoping to see you guys again the soonest! ✨manifesting✨

Please don't forget to like and leave your love in the comment section. Spread the magic by subscribing and sharing my channel! 💜 Hit the notification bell 🔔 to be notified of new uploads. 


XO,
Ria
November 19, 2022 No comments


"Midnights, the stories of 13 sleepless nights scattered throughout my life." - Taylor Swift

I don't know about you but if it's not a re-recording of Speak Now I was really hoping to get a new album from Taylor and she really did not disappoint because she delivered. When this was announced, I couldn't wait to hear the entirety of this album. I am pretty sure that we'll get a lot of stories from this one especially when she said that these are stories from 13 sleepless nights of her life. 🥲🥹

The good thing that was when this album was released, we have a day off from work so I can fully immerse myself in all the songs. The album was released at midnight (est) but in the Philippines, the album was released exactly during lunchtime 🍗. Lol. Fun fact: I am currently listening to the midnights album while I am writing this so that I have more things to write about this album. I originally want to rank the songs of the album from my favorite to my least favorite among the 13 songs but I just couldn't do it.

So let's just talk about how I felt the 1st time I listen to each track and my favorite lyric/s shall we? 💕


Track 1: Lavender Haze 
Just want that kind of love that doesn't give a damn what people say 💕
Favorite Lyrics: I been under scrutiny, you handle it beautifully // They're bringing up my history but you weren't even listening

Track 2: Maroon
The vibe of this song is the kind I will play during rainy sleepless nights. 🌨
Favorite Lyrics: And I wake with your memory over me, that's a real fucking legacy to leave

Track 3: Anti-Hero
Ahhh this song speaks to me on so many levels. This is how I feel most of the time. This is just a reality of sleepless nights.
Favorite Lyrics: Sometimes I feel that everybody is a sexy baby and I'm a monster on the hill //Too big to hang out slowly lurching toward your favorite city, pierced through the heart but never killed

Track 4: Snow on the Beach (ft. Lana Del Ray)
I also love the vibe of this song, something I would play on my wedding day. 👰🏼‍♀️
Favorite Lyrics: Life is emotionally abusive and time can't stop me quite like you did // It's like snow at the beach, weird but it was beautiful

Track 5: You're On Your Own, Kid
This is the song that my 16 year old self will play on Friday nights.
Favorite Lyrics: 'Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned, everything you lose is a step you take

Track 6: Midnight Rain
This song is one of my early favorites! This song has been on repeat since the album was released. 💜
Favorite Lyrics: He stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight.

Track 7: Question...?
Can I ask you a question? How the hell can you guys rate these songs when I love them all!
Favorite Lyrics: Painted all my nights a color I've searched for since // When she said it was too much.. do you wish you could still touch ...her? It's just a question..

Track 8: Vigilante Shit
Lol I saw people hating this song but this kinda reminds me of reputation era Taylor so I love it.
Favorite Lyrics: Draw a cat eye sharp enough to kill a man (This is gonna be on my ig caption one day hahahahaha) // So on the weekends, I don't dress for friends. Lately I've been dressing for revenge

Track 9: Bejeweled
You know what, I'm just gonna say it. I love all the songs in Midnights. This one is something I would play while dancing around in my room alone.
Favorite Lyrics: Best believe I'm still bejeweled when I walk in the room I can still make the whole place shimmer ✨ // Sapphire tears on my face, sadness became my whole sky ✨

Track 10: Labyrinth
Stages of being "in-love" c/o inang.
Favorite Lyrics: You know how scared I am of elevators never trust it if it rises fast.. it can't last.

Track 11: Karma
Cause Karma really loves her like a cat purring in her lap.
Favorite Lyrics: Weave your little webs of opacity; My pennies made your crown // 'Cause karma is the thunder rattling your ground. Karma's on your scent like a bounty hunter; Karma's gonna track you down, step by step from town to town.

Track 12: Sweet Nothing
All I can say is, I want what Taylor and Joe have.. whatever it is. 💕
Favorite Lyrics: On the way home
I wrote a poem
You say, "what a mind"
This happens all the time

Track 13: Mastermind
I think it was also from Taylor that I heard the term "clockwork" hahaha! My vocabulary has expanded with her help, tbh!
Favorite Lyrics: I laid the groundwork and then, just like clockwork the dominoes cascaded in a line. // What if I told you I'm a mastermind? And now you're mine. // It was all by design 'Cause I'm a mastermind.

And a few hours later.. She added more masterpieces! 6 Bonus Tracks!!


Bonus Tracks

The Great War
Favorite Lyrics: You said I have to trust more freely but diesel is desire, you were playin' with fire and maybe it's the past that's talkin'

Bigger Than The Whole Sky
Favorite Lyrics: You were more than just a short time. And I've got a lot to pine about, I've got a lot to live without. // I'm never gonna meet what could've been, would've been, what should've been you.

Paris
Favorite Lyrics: I wanna brainwash you into loving me forever
I wanna transport you to somewhere the culture's clever
Confess my truth in swooping sloping cursive letters
Let the only flashing lights be the tower at midnight

High Infidelity
Favorite Lyrics: You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love, the slowest way is never loving them enough.

Glitch
Favorite Lyrics: We were supposed to be just friends. You don't live in my part of town, but maybe I'll see you out some weekend

Would've, Could've, Should've
Favorite Lyrics: I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep
The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign. // I regret you all the time.

Dear Reader
Favorite Lyrics: Dear Reader, if it feels like a trap you're already in one.

Overall, this album is definitely ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for me! Stream Midnights now! 💕


 

October 30, 2022 No comments

Hello loves!

So as you all know by now, I am currently in the UK. I left the Philippines last 14th of July and spent the next 3 days in the city of London! Here's a little bit about my experience:

I arrived at Heathrow Airport on Friday. My cousin picked me up and booked me in Travelodge, London Ilton in Gants Hill so we can stroll around London for the next three days. The weather is currently very humid and hot, which is why I only wore a light sweater and jeans for most of my day. I never got to wear those bulky trench coats I brought lol but it was nice because it made me feel comfortable and relaxed without feeling stuffy or overheated.

My favorite part about this trip has been seeing all of these beautiful sights while being surrounded by so many people from different countries who are all speaking different languages but still getting along with each other very well. Never seen anything like it before and hope to do it again sometime soon!

So without further ado, indulge in these lovely photos I took in London. I hope you enjoy them!










For some reasons, I can't open the rest of the files so that means there'll be a part 2. 

XO,
Ria
August 05, 2022 1 comments
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"Happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time", Ria always finds a way to quote Taylor Swift. This little corner in the internet is her safe space to share her adventures, mundane thoughts, and anything under the sun. This is her way of sharing a piece of herself to the world, hoping that somehow, she can spread a little bit of magic.


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