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The Awkward Probinsyana

 


I can't believe it, I am 33! I still feel like a teenage 22-year-old. I recently celebrated my 33rd season and here's a quick recap of what happened and a couple of photos as proof.

  • It's my very first birthday in the UK and I celebrated it with my new family here.
  • We had a barbecue party, a week before, Aurora Borealis decided to show up in the UK. I'm taking it as a sign from the universe that I am bound for great things here.
  • We went to Birmingham! I found my shopping haven (for now)
  • I got myself a new phone! I got that natural titanium iPhone because of TTPD color palette. Me as a swiftie of course.
  • Have you seen that Baby Reindeer mini series? Got me stuck in a baby reindeer rabbit hole for a week.
  • It was also my first time to see an airshow.
  • We rode that thing in the fair, I forgot what it's called. I'm always in for the thrill rides.
  • Hmm what else? I might have missed a couple more things but let the photos speak.











That's about it! Hopefully I find more time to update this blog more often.

XO,
Ria

June 11, 2024 No comments

 


It's funny how we all complained about how slow January was but I just sneezed and we are now in March. In 3 or 4 months (?) time, I'll be celebrating my first anniversary here in the UK. How time flies! I could say that I have adjusted very well to work, it's definitely not a walk in the park but I am okay. Weather-wise, the cold never bothered me. Oh who am I kidding, I miss sunny Manila but I am not mad at the cool UK breeze that doesn't melt my makeup easily. Hehe!

I am trying my best to be better with my communication skills. I want to prepare myself in case I would want to continue the corporate role that I left in the Philippines. Or whatever, I just really want to speak better English. Then I am thinking of also learning how to drive, not this year though maybe next? I don't know but it is definitely a life skill that I should learn. Aside from that, I'd also like to have a theme for my room. Blame it on all the reels that shows pretty clean and aesthetic rooms.

As for any specific life updates. I HAVE NONE, STILL. HAHA.

Maybe on my next entry, I might have something to talk about. Hahaha anyways, I'll leave you all for now. Talk to you all again on my next blog.

Xo,

Ria

March 12, 2024 No comments

In 2021, I wrote Que sera, sera on Twitter (now X). There are only a selected few who know what I went through in the last two years. I had a series of many highs then suddenly followed by even more lows. In 2023, I persevered and got to where I am right now.

To be honest, I still haven't gotten over many of my losses in the last couple of years. I am still sensitive about the topic and my real friends know to not open it up and ask me about it and I am very grateful for that. When 2023 entered, it all really started with a simple prayer: Please don't let me down this time.

By the start of 2023, I already know that I am moving to a different country. But that was also how I started my 2022, so when 2023 had the same beginning, I prayed really hard that it wouldn't be the same heartbreak over again. So when I talk to people who are helping me, I sound uninterested and unhappy. Maybe it was my way to prepare myself for whatever was coming. I just don't want to get my hopes up again and be heartbroken in the end.

FFW to today, I am now in the UK. Working in the healthcare industry, which I always wanted as a kid. As a child, I grew up wanting to be a doctor that's why I took up clinical psychology. Who knew fate had other plans for me. As I said in my year-ender post on Facebook: Started 2023 with a prayer, ending 2023 with the answer. God's answer this time was a yes.

So maybe, I will start 2024 with another prayer and let the Lord decide on what is best for me.

Happy new year, everyone! Cheers to new beginnings! 

January 14, 2024 No comments

 


We all wake up daily and promise to be better versions of ourselves. Often, we fail our own expectations and then become cruel to ourselves. I have been in that situation so many times that I lost count. Still, life has its own way of surprising us every day.


In a few weeks, I will be starting a new season in my life and I can't wait to share all the details with you. I just wanted to savor this triumph for a while, without anyone lurking in the background. I am at a point in my life where I just wanted to enjoy things quietly for a while before I share it with the world.


Please continue to pray with me as I work my way towards a new chapter of my life and when I'm ready, I will happily share all the details with you.


Xo,

Ria

June 23, 2023 No comments

 

Hey there! Just a quick check-in here. I'm sure you've all been doing great, but I'll let you know how I've been doing. ⏩I've been in a slump for the past few months and it feels like no one cares. Does anyone still read blog posts btw? 🤔 Hehe 

Anyhoooo, I'm not sure if you've heard, but I turned 31 a couple of weeks ago. But, do you ever feel like being your age? Sometimes or most of the time rather, I still feel like I just turned 21! Maybe because I watch too much Disney. 😅 I had a small celebration—I just went out to dinner with my family 👪, and it was really nice. Then a couple of weeks ago, I went to eat out with some of my college besties 👯. I missed them so much! 💜


Aside from catching up with some friends, I'm finally catching up on my reading! 😃 I've been enjoying some interesting books 📚 lately. I'm currently reading Reminders of Him by Colleen Hoover. I've been a CoHo fan since I finished Ugly Love and even before Kathryn hyped It Ends With Us. Though I wouldn't want to be in those kinds of Toxic relationships, tbh! 😖 I am also currently reading Empathy in Action by our beloved CEO, Tony Bates. We got free hard copies! Yay, employee perks! 💛

It's almost July! 🤯 I can't believe it. 🤯 Where did the time go? 😃 I'm just going to blabber here for a minute: in the next few months, I have a couple of plans lined up that I hope will make me a better person and help me live my life more authentically. 👍

So, yeah—let's do this!! Self, I'm rooting for you! 👍👍👍

XO 💗

R

June 23, 2022 No comments

 

I can still remember the time when I started blogging, we always put our age in the "About Me" section. Lol. Well, I don't do that now. Which reminds me, I think I need to check mine if it is still stuck with the " A 20-Something *insert adjectives here*" intro because I am no longer 20 something. Yep, based on the photo, I recently turned 31. 👩


I always dread going into the next 10 years of my life without a life partner IYKWIM. When I was younger, I always wish for someone I could spend the rest of my life with. IDK what happened lol, my only prayer right now is that my parents would live through it until the day they would finally FINALLY walk me down the aisle. 👸 lol. Anyway, at this point, I just wanted a peaceful and abundant life. 


I may never have had fancy celebrations, in fact, my birthdays are always kinda sad. Being the carer of the family, I just don't have so much energy to put on my own birthday. BTW, Strawberry Shortcakes are enough. 💛🍓 


I may not have as many friends as I have back when I was 20, but I am so glad to have found real ones in this lifetime. I am thankful that I have a roof over my head, I eat complete meals a day, and I have a family who loves me. Whatever or whoever it is that my heart longs for, I know that at the right time, and in the right setup - everything will fall into place as planned by God. 💕

I am very much thankful to all those who remembered. 💜 On to a new chapter, cheers! 🍷

XO,

Ria

June 06, 2022 No comments


Dear Self,

You have been through so much in the last couple of months and I know it felt like every time you are this close to winning, you always end up losing so much more. But I admire you for still being here. I know how many times you thought that quitting is the last resort yet here you are -- smiling as if nothing bad has ever happened. Your strong willpower is one of the most beautiful things about you. Thank you for staying brave, thank you for being a fighter. 

You have always been an amazing listener to everyone that matters to you. During the tough times when you felt like you needed to face things on your own, you met the real people who will always have your back. And that is one of the wonderful things that came out of it, you were able to keep the real ones and discard those who are only there in the good times. You learned to let go of things that aren't meant to be. You learned that you can still lose despite playing the game right. I know it was hard to accept because you know how hard you've worked for it, how hard you prayed for it -- but, I am so proud that you're slowly letting it go. Lessons are learned and you still believe that one day you will get there.

Self, there are still more challenges that await you in the coming months or years but all these circumstances have prepared you to be strong. Remember to rest when you're exhausted. Remember to fight when needed. Keep the things that matter and let go of everything that makes you doubt your existence. You are never a waste of space. You are worth it.

And I hope that one day when everything starts to sail smoothly - remember all the battles you fought and be grateful that you made it to this day.

XO.

R

April 22, 2022 No comments


So what’s happening lately?

You know what, I have been up to so many different things towards the end of 2021 and early 2022. I feel so overwhelmed of what has been going on with my career and personal life. Many people knows only the bits and pieces of the process but not a lot of people knows the complications in between.

But I don’t want to give up just yet. I am writing this blog entry for me to have something to look back on regarding this experience. I honestly think everything is worth fighting for until the end, I can still feel my silver lining shining so I really need to pull myself back together. But, allowing myself to take a quick break is what my soul needs to heal and continue fighting. We’re almost there and we’re gonna make it.

This is a reminder that a lot of people has my back and is willing to take every risk with me for my dream. I’m not gonna be a victim of this shit-ass system, no not this time. Remember my name cause I am gonna bounce back. Remember what my mama Taylor says: “I come back stronger than a 90s trend”.

In time, you will know what this is all about and please please, if you’re reading this, please pray for me. 

Light and Love 💛

Riri

February 03, 2022 No comments


2nd to the last month of the year! It was quick 2021! A lot of unexpected things happened and to be honest, I still couldn't wrap my mind around everything. 

But I just really wanna thank God for still keeping me afloat despite everything and is still continuously showering my family with so much blessing right after every storm. I'm grateful that I have a job that sustains the needs of my family, I recently celebrated my second year anniversary with Genesys 💛 and I am looking forward to more. I am blessed to have a wonderful set of trusted friends who have been my support system through it all. It is important to count your blessings in every storm that you go through, this will serve as your reminder that you were never left and forsaken. 💚

I am also preparing for a huge leap, I am stoked to share the news with you but I am still waiting for the right time. The reason that I made sure that my blog is up is so that I could keep you updated with everything that I will go through in the next coming weeks. 😁 I have prayed long and hard for this and finally, God heard me! 😇 Please pray for me that everything will run smoothly till the day finally comes and I promise, I will share everything when the time is right. 💋

Also, I got www.theawkwardprobinsyana.com back! Yay! 👏 It took me awhile to realize that I need to create another account for me to renew the domain name. 😂 I don't know how to explain it but I am just glad that it is back. 😏

Hmm, what else? Oh, and I also started binge-watching Grey's Anatomy. It just happened. 😅 It has been trending for a while when it aired on Netflix but I didn't watch it until last month now I am hooked. I didn't even know Patrick Dempsey was Dr Shepherd lol, I just recognized the face from Enchanted HAHAHA 😓 I also participated in the Goodreads reading challenge and I can feel that I won't finish it as usual. 😅

Alright, enough talking. I've been talking a lot lately. I am practicing, I need to be fluent for my next adventure. 😉 Oops, is that a clue? ✌

Thanks for reading, be safe fairies.

Xo,

Ria

November 05, 2021 No comments


Hello, bloggerverse! It has been a while! I know I've been out for some time and I think I just needed time to heal and refresh, I wanted to make fresh new content every now and then but I don't have the energy. A lot of things happened this year that I was meaning to share but somehow I don't have the courage or maybe I am just not ready yet to open up about some stuff.

I was reading my blog entries at the start of the year and I was hopeful for good things to happen but somehow, God has other plans. First few months of 2021, we lost family members and I never thought I would be losing my grandmother too. It was so sudden that until now, I am not ready to talk about it. I would like to remember the last year that I've had with her, stuck at home and watching random Youtube videos. I never thought that it would be our last year together, we were not ready. 😢I can't let go yet. Until today, I wish I could have been a better granddaughter but I just cling to the idea that she's now together with tatay. No more pain, just pure love. 💛

Since I lost her, I also lost interest in the things that I started doing. I lost interest in Vlogging, dieting, exercising, etc. Now once again, I am back to Day 1 in everything. I know Nanay has a lot of faith in me so by publishing this latest blog entry, I promise to do everything that I love again and will be better at it. I know Nanay and Tatay will be guiding me and always cheering for me from up there. 💛

Despite all the challenges, God has His own way of surprising us! As what the Bible always tells us to do, to trust and have faith in him. Just a couple of weeks back, I have received some awesome news and this is definitely a great opportunity for me 👸 There are still a couple of work to do but I trust that His Will never fails. 🙏

Oops, and I am also having some problems in fixing my domain 😥 I really do hope that I can be back as The Awkward Probinsyana soon! 😟

I may be out of the loop for some time but I will always come back to this blog. I will continue to share my adventures and misadventures, triumphs and heartbreaks, and everything else in between. 

Here's to more moments together! 🍸

XO,
Ria 💛

October 19, 2021 No comments


How's everyone holding up? How're your 2020 guys? I know!!!! This year surprised us so much and is still surprising us. I can't even with this year anymore but one good thing about 2020 is that, it gave me time to open my blog and share my thoughts. I'll be sharing it in bullets so as not to confuse you with my scattered thought processing.
  • It's the 3rd week of the community quarantine here in the Philippines. COVID-19 shocked the world with it's growing number of cases and death. Please STAY AT HOME if you can. I know we can all get through this disease as one with prayers and safety measures of course.
  • Having said that, it's also the 3rd week of our work from home setup. Do I miss the office? Yes! Do I miss my daily commute? Hell no. 😎
  • We've planned a few trips ahead and sad to say most of it won't push through. I haven't seen my friends in a while and I really miss them all. 👭👬👯
  • I started learning how to sew, I have always wanted to do that. Just one of the Tita things that I have always wanted to learn and the stay at home measures gave me the opportunity to do so.
  • I started doing Muay Thai for workouts but sad to say that I stopped for a while due to the ongoing quarantine. I promise to be consistent once the protocol has been lifted.
  • I have finished several series in Netflix! Finished Kingdom the fastest cause it's sooooo good, I definitely recommend it! 💻
  • I wanted to do a prayer VLOG/BLOG but I am not really good at it. I just wanna get back on my spiritual life but still don't know how to start. I will definitely figure this one out.
  • Since I have no interesting shenanigans lately, I wanna get back into creative writing. I've done it years ago but I just stopped and I don't know why. I need my creative juices back.
  • I'm super excited about something, I've been pinning ideas from Pinterest and I can't wait to share everything once it's all done.🏠
  • 2020 is the year I'm turning 29 then I have one whole year to turn my life around before I turn the big three zero. Praying for the best. 💙
I guess that's it for this episode of the quarantined life. Tune in next time for more boring shenanigans in my life. Just kidding! I have a few ideas in my mind and I might as well update this blog as often as I can now that I have the time. Love you and always be kind and magical. 💖










Credits to the owner of the photo from Unsplash.com 
March 30, 2020 No comments



So, what the hell is going on with my life at this point?

We're already on the second month of the new year and still, this is the first post that I am going to share for 2020. I can't think of any shenanigans that I can share to have this post in bullets. But so far, everything is going steady. Well, I got pissed a lot more times this February and I won't share anything about it here cause there are lurkers all around and I don't wanna bother explaining to anyone I am not even close with.

I am thinking of doing Muay Thai and more physical activities this year. Also, due to the flooding number of requirements that I am currently handling, I haven't even started on writing my 30 before fucking 30 list but Muay Thai is def one of those. I also wanted to try to climb at least one goddamn mountain before I turn 30 and not just drown in the misery of being a recruiter. There's also a number of weddings this year that I have been invited to. Kind of excited for these people that I love dearly! 💚 2020 is definitely a year of love for my friends and family and I am truly excited for them 💛

And oh, did I tell you that I told this dude that I like(d) him. Yup, pretty much the highlight of 2019 💙 One of 30 before 30 list already ticked off even before I started writing it. Not a fucking happy ending though, wake up guys this isn't a fairy tale. 😆

That's all I have for now. Hopefully something magical will happen soon so I have more things to share. 💙

February 18, 2020 No comments
You gotta step into the daylight, and let it go.
It's been a while since I opened my blog and write something. But to start off, I wanna let everyone know that I think I am in a better place than before. Not literally, but mentally. LOL. I know I've been quite unstable a few months back and I have been very vocal about it in my previous posts. My only outlet is this blog that's why I can't really let go with the traditional way of blogging. 😀

Anyway, I have lots of stories to tell - First, I got a new job. I'm not saying that my previous job is no good. It's just that sometimes, if your career is your top priority - great opportunities will knock on your door and you just can't let it pass. That is exactly what happened to me. At the moment, my family is also on top of my priority list and if there are employment opportunities that would cover both my personal needs and the needs of my parents - I would definitely consider it. All praise to our Almighty God for all his provisions as well. ❤

Next --- I met really amazing but sometimes annoying friends. I think going out with them helped me with my anxiety/depression as well. They never knew anything about it though. I am trying my best to be the happiest person I can be whenever I go out with them. I don't wanna be labeled as a party pooper. 😂

I also met someone that I really liked in an instant. I know, it's another story to tell but let me just put it this way. This person doesn't even know I like him just because I don't want him to. He's a good friend and I want to keep him in my life so I'd rather keep him as a friend than not to keep him at all. Also, surprise! He's got a girl. Ouch 💔

Well, for now, I guess that's it. As usual, my thoughts are once again scattered and words are all over the place. Will try my best to share more stories with you.


October 04, 2019 No comments


Whoa, I can't believe when the last time I opened my blog and shared an update was. To be honest, it took me a while and a few blog reads to relieve my passion in writing something here. With the turn of events, I just can't let my blog go. This has somewhat become my creative outlet and where I could shamelessly share my thoughts. 😀

So what really happened the whole time I was MIA? 😕



I can't remember much of it, really. I have this habit of placing all unpleasant events in my subconscious before it eats me whole. Though I have to admit that I've been in a really difficult situation towards the end of 2017 and of course, in the early months of 2018. 😭 I will not share most parts cause ain't worth it 😒. I took a break from the internet. I took a break from everything that breaks my already broken self 😶 lol. I must say that it paid off. I realized that Social Media plays an ugly game. People will only believe what they've read, they will never ask for your side. 😭

The time I was away, I relieved my love for paperbacks. ❤ I loved Taylor Swift even more.❤ Most importantly, I recognized the best people in my life. It's not about the number of humans that you interact with daily, what matters is that despite having only a few people in your circle you never feel alone. Another thing is, I chopped of my hair and I have never been this confident in a while. ❤
 

Life doesn't get better in an instant. Bills, problems, issues - they are all coming my way and at times it really gets exhausting. If you are in the same place as I am right now, just keep going. Several times I admit that I want all the hurt to go away already. I thought there's a much better place for me. But then I looked around, I saw my dogs wagging their tails everytime I get home, I saw my mom patiently preparing my meals for the day, my dad who checks up on me from time to time - that's when I realized that life isn't so bad after all. Just believe in yourself and have faith.
❤ Philippians 4:13 ❤

February 23, 2018 No comments

I might give people the impression of being a strong woman. Someone who speaks her mind, tactless, and probably doesn't even care about how others feel. Let me tell you now that you are wrong. I am actually very sensitive, anxious, and has a whole lot of feelings bottled up inside my heart. In this age of social media, people express their feelings and share how their day went through it. I wonder how they were able to share the death of their relatives through Facebook. It's like, you validated their loss which I can't personally do.

This is the first time I'll speak with the online community about our loss. On what I thought was just a usual Thursday morning of February 2, the Lord called my uncle home. I was already in the office and my mom and I were exchanging text messages when she broke the news to me. I was heartbroken and I felt my soul was crushed into pieces. The only word that I said during the call was "WHY". It was a sudden loss and nobody expected it. I recalled the last time I was speaking with him and look for signs but there isn't any. And that makes it even harder to accept, nobody expected it.

The whole week was a blur. But there are a few things that I've learned from this experience:

  • CRY. You are hurt. You are broken. It's okay to cry and don't mind others.
  • Always make your parents feel that they are loved. I was heartbroken for myself but what more for my cousin? 
  • Make this pain draw you closer to God. Although it's hard to understand what his plans truly are, know that He always gives us what's best.
  • Never ignore signs or symptoms of an illness. We didn't know why my uncle had a sudden a heart attack. We didn't know that he's not feeling well. Always seek for medical help.
  • Never underestimate the power of family at the end of the day, you only have each other.
  • Losing someone too soon is painful but look closer because there's a blessing behind your loss.
  • Know that you are still connected by love no matter where your loved one is right now.
So if you were able to read this today, go and tell them how much you love them. Don't wait until your time together runs out. 

I would also like to take this time to express my gratitude to everyone who extended all the help that they could give to our family during this time. Maraming salamat sa inyo! Ninong Andy may have left us so suddenly but I believe he is with us through spirit, I know he's smiling in heaven with Tatay Bon. We'll be holding on to that thought and we'll all get through this as a family.

Ninong Andy, we thank you for sharing your life with us. This love will keep us all together. <3
February 10, 2017 No comments

Wow, I can't believe how 2016 ended so soon! Looking back, it has been a year of challenges and realizations. I always present myself by having a strong personality who never lets anyone look down on me. I am a fighter, yes, but just like any of you, I still have a lot of things to learn. And to be honest with you guys, before 2016 ended and just as this year have started - I've learned a couple of things that I would like to share with you. These may be some thoughts that are great to ponder upon.

  • I've learned to eliminate hatred and replace it with love. There was one person who I am not really close with told a friend that I am full of hatred. And then one day I just asked myself where all these hatred came from. Who started it? Why am I so hateful? Then all these experiences and emotions came pouring in - I used to be a happy person but with all these bad experiences with people made me see the worst in them before seeing the good. Slowly, I am learning to look beyond what our naked eyes can see. To see the good in every person instead of focusing on their bad characteristics.
  • I've learned that forgiveness takes time and courage. Trust me, I've been there. This is the reason why I've abandoned being The Awkward Probinsyana cause this identity reminded me of my happy days with someone I was really close with but because of a sudden turn of events, we parted ways. I was heartbroken and hurt but I showed the world that I was furious, which takes me to my third learning -s e e  n e x t  b u l l e t || Expressing forgiveness also took me a lot of courage, I can't even tell how many gallons of fluid I've swallowed before I could contact this person whom I haven't speak to for years but let me tell you this, it will be worth it.
  • I've learned that showing what you truly feel is not a sign of weakness. I never told anyone what I found out - I just expressed my anger through social media. When they asked me why, I never gave them a reason. I was bombarded by hurtful things that the person said behind my back but I never really shared the complete details with anyone. That's why I looked bad in their eyes but I didn't care. I kept it to myself so I became angrier every single day.
  • I've learned to apologize specially if you know for a fact that even though these people hurt you, you've also did something wrong in some ways. I got so mad that I've resorted to social media for all my unsaid feelings, I even cursed them to their faces and text messages. I blocked them and removed them from my socials - I've cursed everyone and did I feel good after doing so? No, I didn't. The thorns were only removed the day I've fully allowed myself to forgive and to heal. Babe, it felt good.
  • I've learned that some advises aren't really a good advice. :) Even some of your friends give bad advises and it's okay to trust your own instincts. It's okay to decide on your own and it's okay to commit mistakes just as long as you learn from them.
Before 2016 closed, it has opened some doors that I've already closed. Rekindled friendships and closures set me free. I still have a lot to learn and I'm trying to learn it outside social media. Turning off my connection every once in a while make me explore the world that is out there - besides, I'm only 25 and still learning.

Much Love,
Ria
January 27, 2017 No comments
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"Happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time", Ria always finds a way to quote Taylor Swift. This little corner in the internet is her safe space to share her adventures, mundane thoughts, and anything under the sun. This is her way of sharing a piece of herself to the world, hoping that somehow, she can spread a little bit of magic.


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