This dream, again.

I had a strange dream last night.

I was in the same high school I attended, sitting in the same spot. Sitting beside the same people. Hanging around on the same stairs as my best friend and I used to before classes started. The only difference is that I know that it happened in the present day. I am waiting for the same documents that I am waiting for now. And one of my friends from college was with me in class.

But the same damn person was sitting right across from me. The teacher decided to shuffle the seating arrangements, with me secretly hoping that person gets transferred to the empty seat beside me. Like the old times, like we used to. I don't know why until now I still wish for that to happen. Maybe because it reminded me of the simpler times. It reminded me of how easy life was before becoming an adult. Maybe because I was so happy then, and I work desperately hard to find happiness now.

Going back to my dream, I didn't see what happened next. Whether he got transferred to the seat next to me or I got the documents on time. My dream ended abruptly and I was thinking about it the moment I woke up. All I know is that every time I am in bad shape and stuck in another depression rut, I dream about these little moments in my core memory. Moments that kept me going and reminded me that I was once this happy little person. Reminding me that it wasn't always this bad. 

Until I see you in my dreams again, but this time with a happier version of myself. 🩷